Hypnotized

I was (am) overweight, after battling it out with a personal trainer and flushing money down the drain because I simply went through the motions when I worked out. I decided to spend the money I would on the trainer and see a hypnotherapist for weight loss.
This is my story...
Lily Allen this week in a £395 Agent Provocateur Marine Suit.
Bitch The Hypno really is working

Lily Allen this week in a £395 Agent Provocateur Marine Suit.

Bitch The Hypno really is working

Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

Wow. I lost 5 pounds. In about 10 days. A lot of it musta been time o’ the month weight. But regardless…I fuckin lost some weight. Feelin Good Feelin Great!

Hypno was on Saturday. I got into the trance state ALOT easier than the first time. It felt like I was definitely in a more relaxed state and I wasn’t of fearful or expectant of trance. I told him that I’d had moments of weakness and not being listening to the hypno CD daily. He said that i should try and listen to the CD at least 3 times a week.

We chatted for about half an hour before on what I wanted him to “program” me to do.

I said in this order.

— Stop snacking. I dont want to snack anymore, I want to feel full all the time

— I don’t want ANYMORE bread. I really would like to do without.

— I want to feel energized exercising and massively motivated

Saturday night, I went to a birthday party - I didn’t snack on the cheese, crackers, and other snacks AT ALL. I had no want or desire and usually i’m the first to eat that shit and continue hoovering it up all night.

Granted I drank but I remember exactly, what I had. 4 Sakes, 1 Vodka Tonic and 1 Vodka Soda. Sounds like a lot but that’s actually pretty damn good for me on a night out.

I woke up on Sunday with a motherfucking hangover and dread that I’d drunkenly chowed down on a bagel (whole wheat)  and cream cheese. I remember trying to eat the bagle and it tasting absolutely positively GROSS. Like horrid!!! Like cement and sponge.

To my delight I’d eaten about 3 bites and I had the memory of it tasting bad. Self control when it comes to eating! I’m learning!!!!

I can’t explain why I’m obsessed with Lily Allen. I can’t stand her. BUT as a fellow hypno patient, I can’t help but stalk pictures of her and her new “slender” self. I wonder if she does her affirmations every day?

I can’t explain why I’m obsessed with Lily Allen. I can’t stand her. BUT as a fellow hypno patient, I can’t help but stalk pictures of her and her new “slender” self. I wonder if she does her affirmations every day?

I also would not mind my body looking like this.

I also would not mind my body looking like this.

Guess that’s why they broke, and you’re so paid

I’ve got another session booked for tomorrow (I cancelled my Wednesday) and I honestly cannot wait. I’m going to tell the hypnotist my weaknesses (ones that the first session seemed to control but not as much as I want to). I think I’m a stong minded/willed person, so I’m kind of beating myself up about veering off the long winding sandy beached hypno path. I’ve had a glass of wine almost everynight this week. I haven’t been able to finish them (thanks hypno!) BUT the fact is that little stinkin habit seems to have crept back in. Granted I haven’t been listening to the CD every night either…maybe that’s it!?

I HAVE been doing my affirmations though - I’ve placed a few here that I remember.

1. I eat and am fulfilled rather than filled full.

2. I love myself

3. I am slimmer, healthier and happier.

4. I am confident

5. I love my slender body (ha!)

There’s about 30 affirmations in total and I say them twice a day, once in the morning, once at night before bed. I printed them out and placed them on my closet door mirror and they block out my middle section. So when I say them I can only see my legs and shoulders.

Sounds like a buncha crunch of bull shit I hear you say.

Actually…no. It works…not everyday, but days like today for example. I was saying the affirmations and totally felt it. I AM slimmer (although those mother fucking grandma scales say otherwise), I feel healthier and i’m def happier.

I haven’t told many people about my hypno. I can’t be arsed with all the judgery but one thing ALOT of people are saying to me is how calm I am. I hung out with a friend over the weekend and she kept saying how “zen” I was. When I finally gave in and told her about hypno she said she KNEW something was different.

So for tomorrows session I have some weaknesses eliminated;

— I want ALL processed food to taste like shit. When I had the first session everything processed tasted like crap for at least 4 days after. Seriously I could taste every single chemical component. I want that feeling back

—  All hard liquor. Believe me I haven’t missed it and have only had 4 vodkas in 2 weeks. (If you knew me you’d know that that is fucking unbelievable).

— When it’s that time of the month I don’t want to crave carb. That’s what has happened this month. I have CRAVED CARBS like a mother fucker. Make it stop please.

I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

And I Just Love Your Flashy Ways…

I bought a scale on Saturday at Bed Bath and beyond. Not a fancy one - just your average shitty “grandma’s bathroom” one. I haven’t weighed myself in nearly 2 years. I like to go by the fit of my clothes because I’ve always been heavy. Medical charts are so fucking inaccurate. I’m 5”8…with my build if i were to be 140 pounds I’d look like skeletor.

Anyway…I bought the scales. I can’t bring myself to even think about it so I’m not even gonna bother typing the horrific results. I’d just like to copy and paste part of my IM coversation to a friend.

me: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!???!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!?!?!
just annoyed with myself
ANNOYED

Rational me can tell you what happened - I over-ate and now I’m the size and build of a baby hippopotamus…sorry a hypnotized baby hippopotamus.

I fucking hate those scales but I will continue to weigh myself on them.

Eating and working out habits went a little bit hay wire on Fri and Sat BUT I have been doing my affirmations (given to me by hypnotherapist) and have a top up session booked for Saturday.

This is my body inspiration Rita G from the Flashing Lights Kanye Vid.

This is my body inspiration Rita G from the Flashing Lights Kanye Vid.

Biggie Biggie Can’t You See…

In 2005 I lost a lot of weight working by doing pilates, meditating and generally looking after myself. In 2006 I started dating a mini foodie (loved to eat out) and stopped working out as much. Booooooo why does that happen!!!!! We broke up 9 months later (not due to weight gain though) and I started to lose the weight again and was back on fine young thing form.

In April 2007 I met my fantastic and now current love of my life whose metabolism knows no end. He opened my eyes to a whole new level of culinary indulgence — from nights spent out eating 3 course meals and parties spent indulging in copious amounts of calorie laden alcoholic drinks to staying in and gorging on indian/chinese/southern food takeout, beer and wine and vodka.
You can guess what happened right?

I only realized I’d become “definitely larger” when I saw a video of myself at a photoshoot in August 2008. “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!” I seriously could not believe it!!!!!?!?!?!?! THEN I began to scrutinize pictures of me even more closely! WOAH i was definitely bigger. WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?!!? And WHY did it suddenly happen over night!?!?!?

By fate I ran into a friend one day who was just finishing up a session with his personal trainer. He said I should check out the gym so I did and immediately plonked down the cash for a personal trainer.
The sessions started out great. I was energized and motivated. Then my trainer started being flaky - maybe because he was giving me discounted rate!?  I ended up switching to another trainer who left the gym due to internal bollocks. We trained at my own gym in my building but I just lost the motivation…I wasn’t inspired anymore.

I cam back from the UK vowing to lose weight and to start 2009 with a better outlook on being a young 20 something hot thang with a semi rockin bod. HA! So much for that…ended up drinking more heavily (stress) and feasting on brie and pate like no tomorrow. DAMN YOU WHOLEFOODS!!

On January 7th 2009 - read in the Daily Mail that the “newly svelte” Lily Allen had gone for a 2nd bout of hypnotherapy to try and help her lose weight.
That say I researched hypnotherapists in NYC and emailed a few. I’ve considered a hypnotherapist before for smoking…but I cancelled at the last minute due to “can’t be arsedness”.

Later that day I spoke to my mum (a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist) who told me she didn’t think it would work as I’m not a suggestible person. “Very true”
Wednesday evening and a hypnotherapist named Jeffery Rose called me back. We talked about hypnotherapy, nutrition and weight-loss and he brushed it off when I said I wasn’t suggestible.

I made appointment for Saturday 10th January at 6:15pm
This is my account…all be it a little late - I’m going to write catch ups from now…next session is Wednesday 14th at 7pm.

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